Well, it's getting close to another weekend. I do have something to do on Saturday afternoon which is very unusual.  Most weekends are spent sitting in front of the TV sleeping or eating or having a pity party.  I throw the best pity partys, if you are ever going to have one and need some help just hit me up I'll be glad to help out.  I can find a thousand reasons why my life sucks and why everyone should feel sorry for me, the problem is.... it's all a bunch of hooey.  My life isn't perfect but there are parts of it that are amazing.  I have a great job, that I love.  I have a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in and I can take a bath or shower anytime i feel the need.  It's obvious that I have enough food, just take a look at the size of  my derriere!!  I really need to get to a doctor, I am typing this with tears streaming down my face and I don't even know why I'm crying. Maybe because I know what's wrong with me and why I overeat and beat myself up all the time but I just can't do anything about it. Before I lost Bern and I started feeling like this I could always go home and put my arms around him and he would always say just the right thing to bring me out of my funk.  I don't have that anymore and I certainly don't have the skills (or meds) to pull myself up! I am really a very damaged person and he was the only one who knew ALL and I do mean ALL of the bad stuff about me and still loved me.....