No light

Feeling like I am headed down a very long, long dark hallway with no end in sight and no light at the end. Sleep eludes me almost every night now, it used to be a random night here and there but now it's an ongoing occurrence. This feeling of desperation and self loathing has a hold on me and I can't seem to shake it. I have a couple of best friends that I could tell all my secrets to but my fear is if they knew it would drive them away. Where do I go from here.....