Making Changes

I know I've said it before but I'm saying it again... THIS SUCKS!! The closer it gets to the anniversary of his passing the more my stomach churns! The only thing that has become easier is making some critical decisions. I was waffling about the house not knowing what to do but that is settled. It is back on the market and it's gone ASAP, I just don't need all that room. Why do I need 3 bathrooms, a living room AND a family room. And I certainly DO NOT NEED 5 bedrooms!!! Have also made the decision to stop worrying about my children, I can't change them nor can I help them any longer. They are adults and the decisions they make impact their lives more than they impact mine. I will continue to pray for them because that's what Mom's do but if they do something I think is stupid then so be it! And the biggest decision of all, and this is going to be the hardest one to stick to, I WILL start to think of myself first and everyone and everything else second. PHEW!! That is the decision that I'm sure I will continue to struggle with, but after taking care of someone since I was 13 years old, well frankly that's long enough. My brothers that I helped raise are grown, my Mother has passed, my sister and my aunt have passed and my beloved Marine has passed. My Grandchildren are smart and are already proving they will grow up to be independent and successful, the only person left is me....