10 Months

Yesterday made 10 months since he passed!! I've already been through a lot of "firsts"; first holiday without him, first birthday without him, first vacation without him.... the list is endless. I've had some friends tell me that the second year is the hardest, other people have told me the first year is the hardest. I know that things are supposed to start getting easier but when?? Things aren't any easier, I still cry myself to sleep most nights, think of him constantly, cannot stand the thought of being without him for the rest of my life. I have wonderful friends and they are very supportive but there is no substitute for his presence, his smile, his laughter....