Still living in fear

Went riding yesterday with my dearest friends in the world, was having a really good time until folks starting taking pictures. For the friends that know me my "signature" is to always stick my finger in my nose. Some of my friends will even say, 'we have enough pictures of you like that, take your finger out of your nose!'. Well yesterday we went to a local park to see a sculpture called "The Awakening", it is a beautiful sculpture of a giant coming out of the ground. It is huge, you can climb on its head and the leg and arm that stick out of the ground are at least 50 feet tall. So my friend is telling me strike my signature pose and put my finger up the nose on the statue's head. I started to do it and thought how funny it would be then she said she would put it on Face Book!! I just stopped in my tracks and said no we can go without a nose picture this time. And when she said why, I immediately said "if it's going on FB his family will be able to see it and I don't want them to think I'm having too much fun." How long am I going to live in fear of what other people think of me!! I think I'm a good person, I try to treat other people the way I want to be treated. Although I fail terribly, I try not to talk about people behind their back and I always try to same something nice about people. I try really, really hard to not judge others, I pay attention to folks when they are talking to me, I pray constantly for God's guidance and grace and forgiveness and STILL I am worried about what his family will think of me. Some of the other in-laws will be the first ones to tell me, 'who cares what they think!' but I'm not a strong as they are, it makes me physically sick to think about them sitting around talking about me and my kids the way I've heard them tear other people up!! I gotta tell you this is not any kind of feeling I would wish on my worst enemy..... vicki lee