Who's counting

Sssooooo..... on the 17th of February it will 3 months, 13 weeks, 90 days, 2,160 hours, 129,600 minutes and 7,776,000 seconds since he passed, but who's counting.... I AM DAMN IT!!! Every second that ticks by on the clock it's one more second without him. This sucks so bad, haven't been invited to one single thing since New Year's Eve with his family. I only think I was invited to that because his Niece needed a ride up there, she didn't even come home with me, I drove home alone!! When he was alive they respected him enough to not invite certain "X" in-laws to their homes but they don't respect me enough to do the same thing. NOW, the "X"es are being invited and I'm not!! Really says something for how much I was respected or for that matter even liked!! I thought I had a good relationship with his sister but she has even changed the time she comes to church so she doesn't have to run into me, and I haven't been invited to her house one time after church for coffee and that was a ritual when he was alive. Maybe I am just feeling really lonely and isolated because today is Valentine's Day, maybe because this is just one more "first" that I have to endure. Maybe I should stop having a pity party for myself and learn to deal with this crap, maybe not..... vicki lee