Our life

Our life has come down to a series of pills, radiation and chemotherapy. He has made the final decision to sell his bike and use the money to buy a camper. I'm all for whatever he wants to do, thing is this, what am I going to do with the camper once he is gone? It will be on his sister's property at Mark Twain Lake, they won't want me hanging around once he's gone. And I don't know if I will be comfortable being there without him! I love going up there and it would be a great get away for me when I need it but I don't know about being around his family, I mean what if I want to bring a girlfriend or two with me, or if just want to be alone for a few days??? MAN, I really don't like making all these decisions, if it were just me it would be easy but there are so many other people and factors to take into consideration! I've even been thinking about starting to sell furniture and paying off bills so I don't have any debt after he's gone! I talked to the nurse yesterday and the oncologists notes say even with starting the chemo he probably only has about a year left, and that depends on how his kidney function is, if his numbers go down then they will take him off the chemo AGAIN! When they do that his survival rate drops, then when his kidney function is better he goes back on the chemo, and this treatment is the last treatment they will be able to put him on, he has run the gamut of drugs he can take. CANCER SUCKS!! vicki lee