I  have a friend who's husband was diagnosed with cancer several years ago.  He is actually cancer free right now but had to go through all the nasty chemo and radiation like my husband did.  I am so happy that he is cancer free and they have more time to be together but, it also makes me very angry.  I know "never question God's motives" and "someday I will have all the answers" also "we will be together one day", etc., etc.  The problem is I want him here with me, by my side, sleeping in our bed, making me laugh, holding hands, riding the scooters together, this list is endless.  There is a new "comedy" on Tuesday nights called "Go On'.  It's about a man who's young wife dies suddenly and his struggle to go on without her.  He gets very angry at everyone and everything and is told by his boss he must join an anger management support group.  The thing that hit me the hardest last night is now he is starting to see his dead wife and talk to her.  I've been talking to B for almost 2 years now, is this what my life will be like from now on?  Walking around the house talking to someone who isn't there?  Will I ever be able to stop talking to him, or aching for his touch, or crying every time I think about something we used to do together........