Decisions

So, I talked to the nurse at the cancer center yesterday. Here is what she said!! If his confusion issues clear up he can definitely start chemo therapy again. It will change his prognosis but time limit is up in the air, if we do not resume chemo then the 3-6 months stand. He is in a lot of pain because of the cancer spreading in his bones (hip, spine, ribs & shoulder) I don't know what to do! Some of his family are saying that the only reason I am still around is I'm waiting for him to die! He has actually been dying for a long time and if I wanted to I could have been gone a long time ago.... I'm with him because I adore him, he's my husband, my life, my heart, and I took a vow in a church that means a lot to me. I wish they would be the ones to make this decision and to go to the doctors and listen to what they say and stay awake with him all night long and listen to him struggle to get up and down, to even breathe sometimes. Some people say, tell him what the doctors have said, some people say don't tell him.... I don't know what to do, I don't know what to tell him or what to say, I don't know what to say to his family, I don't know what to say to our children or grand children. I have to make a decision about what my decision will be..... I hate cancer!! vicki lee