That time again

Tomorrow at 8:10am it will be 5 months since he passed. This has been the worst 5 months of my life, I go through crying jags, fits of no sleep, eating like a pig then not eating at all, no focus or concentration ability, hate my job, hate the house..... I just want to scream when someone starts complaining about their spouse, I just want to say 'you have no idea how hard it is to lose them'. And it's not even like being divorced, at least if you're divorced you MIGHT see them again but this, this is permanent never seeing them again, no kissing them, no holding them, no feeling their warm breath on your skin, EVER!!! I am just so damned sad all the time..... vicki lee